What do you think of this poem? any ideas for a title?

In the veil of a sunset, the gull prides and soars.
Who can convince you that the world isn't yours?
What sharpness of eye or shadow of day
could taint your brilliance of white to grey,
clip your wings and tame your beak
or humble your silent piety?

I wish I was like you; nameless and free
like the feeling that honours you, welling from me,
or the edges of land reaching out to the sea.





Answer :
I like the nature of timeliness in the poem. It rhymes just right. There is one point that needs more attention though. "or the edges of land reaching out to the sea." There should be another line to even the ending out. What about:
"I wish i was like you, nameless and free
like the feeling that honours you, welling from me
I reach for you, upon the evening breeze
like the edges of land reaching out to the sea..."
All in all, your poem was beautiful; keep writing =^-^=
~*WinglessAngel*~





Answer :
I love the questions asked, they remind me that such graceful creatures are garbage feeders. I guess I'm making an association with some of the loves of my life. If it were my poem (and it surely is not) I'd have to call it "You're not the gull of my dreams." Anyway, I'm glad we share the same ocean. It makes me feel as if we were neighbors.





Answer :
its good i like poems that ask questions that arent answered cause it kind of make you answer them for yourself
i made a poem in that style check it out :)





Answer :
wow, I can't remember the last time you used rhyme! I liked the way the first verse declined, lines shortening as meaning came into focus, point began to be made.

Title: "From Behind the Veil" or perhaps just "Soar" I like the simplicity of the single-word title.






Answer :
I've been waiting all day for one of your poems to delight me - but this isn't the one.
I mean't what about preens instead of prides? - but prides is better than preens, so ignore me.
you haven't given it your normal magic touch.

Call it Reflection

HI - please forgive me. I've read this again this morning - and boy was I wrong last night. I'd been on answers.yahoo too long. This morning I see it with new eyes.........I am speechless at my stupidity. I wasn't allowing myself to just read and enjoy.